Figure This

From my friend Seamus about the current CENTCOM boss as related thru Major Gene Duncan A couple of months ago, when I told General Krulak, the former Commandant of the Marine Corps, now the chair of the Naval Academy Board of Visitors, that we were having General Mattis speak this evening, he said, "Let me tell you a Jim Mattis story." General Krulak said, when he was Commandant of the Marine Corps, every year, starting about a week before Christmas, he and his wife would bake hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Christmas cookies. They would package them in small bundles. Then on Christmas day, he would load his vehicle. At about 4 a.m., General Krulak would drive himself to every Marine guard post in the Washington-Annapolis-Baltimore area and deliver a small package of Christmas cookies to whatever Marines were pulling guard duty that day. He said that one year, he had gone down to Quantico as one of his stops to deliver Christmas cookies to the Marines on guard duty. He went to the command center and gave a package to the lance corporal who was on duty. He asked, "Who's the officer of the day?" The lance corporal said, "Sir, it's Brigadier General Mattis." And General Krulak said, "No, no, no. I know who General Mattis is. I mean, who's the officer of the day today, Christmas day?" The lance corporal, feeling a little anxious, said, "Sir, it is Brigadier General Mattis." General Krulak said that, about that time, he spotted in the back room a cot, or a daybed. He said, "No, Lance Corporal. Who slept in that bed last night?" The lance corporal said, "Sir, it was Brigadier General Mattis." About that time, General Krulak said that General Mattis came in, in a duty uniform with a sword, and General Krulak said, "Jim, what are you doing here on Christmas day? Why do you have duty?" General Mattis told him that the young officer who was scheduled to have duty on Christmas day had a family, and General Mattis decided it was better for the young officer to spend Christmas Day with his family, and so he chose to have duty on Christmas Day. General Krulak said, "That's the kind of officer that Jim Mattis is." The story above was told by Dr. Albert C. Pierce, the Director of the Center for the Study of Professional Military Ethics at The United States Naval Academy. He was introducing General James Mattis who gave a lecture on Ethical Challenges in Contemporary Conflict in the spring of 2006. This was taken from the transcript of that lecture.

The Marine Aviator As Seen by Himself:

An incredibly intelligent, tall, handsome, innovative, and highly
trained professional killer, idol to countless females, and Gentleman
Adventurer, who wears a star sapphire ring, carries a hair-trigger .45
automatic in a specially designed, hand-made quick draw holster along with
his trusty survival knife, who is always on time thanks to his ability to
obtain immediate transportation and the reliability of his Rolex watch.


As seen by his wife:

A disreputable member of the family who comes home once a year all
bruised up, driving a stolen jeep up to the back door carrying a B-4 bag
full of dirty laundry, wearing a stained flight suit, smelling of stale
booze and JP-4, wearing a huge watch, a fake ring, and that damn ugly
beat-up pistol in that stupid holster, who will three months later go out
the front door, thankfully for another year.


As seen by his commander:

A fine specimen of a drunken, brawling, jeep stealing, woman corrupting
liar, with a star sapphire ring, fantastically accurate Rolex watch, an
unauthorized .45 in a non-regulation shoulder holster, and trusty survival
knife.


As seen by Wing Headquarters:

The embodiment of a drunken, brawling, jeep stealing, woman corrupting,
lying, zipper-suited Sun God, with a ring, a proscribed 1911A1 .45 in a
non-regulation shoulder holster, a Rolex watch, who for some reason carries
a survival knife.


As seen by the DoD:

An overpaid, rule-ignoring, over-ranked tax burden, who is unfortunately
totally indispensable simply because he has volunteered to go anywhere, and
do anything, at any time, only so long as he can booze it up, brawl, steal
jeeps, corrupt women, lie, and wear a star sapphire ring, Rolex watch, and
carry an obsolete hand gun and a survival knife.


As seen by the enemy:

The implacable face of death!